Some of you know me in real life and many more of you do not but most of those who do know my family has more than a few plumbers in it and maybe that is how this all came about in my mind. Much of my early learning both of the biznuss world and weed haha came to me on those special saturdays @ work with Dad and so this blahgg is for him and all the other plumbers in the fam much love.
even if you don't know me.. most of you do know where I'm from.. it's Jerz! a state where for many years and the majority of my life both cannabis and marijuana alike remained illegal even though many citizens saw thru the fallacy of the government narratives about cannabis presented to us as the whole truth.. here we are now even after weed has been 'legalized' for more than 2 years we still have a situation where only mega weed corp can grow cannabis
As I sit hereon da beach I drift off to another place..
Our government(s) they get some things right and manyyy others wrong sadly we know all that and still have to live in this world. our government(s) do not define us even as they pass laws to restrict our freedoms wage wars in our names and all the other evils we don't know of.. and like you might even be right to say as far as humans and gov'ts go.. this (pick one) one is one of the better ones.. and I'd say well it is a low bar to clear or something along those lines
so I take you to a place that only exists deep in the dank corner of my mind -- Blerz
think of the Rick n Morty or some similar sci fi of your choosing.. it's an alternate timeline.. like the Jerz we all know and love but with one key difference in Blerz one of the things the gov't REALLY got wrong was indoor plumbing.. I know crazy right? but in this wild fictional world of Blerz -- no one can legally poop inside their own home
some shits left over from 1940's pre-war era where in this timeline a wartime porcelin shortage became what many in this world's nations knew as brown laws.. with the govts so broken and dealing with 'real' probs (wars) nearly 70 plus years later in many locales these brown laws stayed in place as dumb as they sounded to us now.
Wild.. but you see the thing was no one really went along with all that. Like they all knew the law and broke it every day. first thing in the morning break the law by pooping in your home. See everyone pooped inside but you needed to have a 'traditonal market' plumber to install that pooper inside your house at nite in a secret pooping room a true water closet.. So everyone had a guy. everyone also had a lil shitter shed outside that was never used. people used em for anything but pooping in. Other items like toilet paper and brushes etc came with bright neon green stickers OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
eventually the pols in Blerz like others before them in western states figured out hey we are on the wrong side here and decided they would change the law! everyone can poop inside now! hey just one sec we just need to create a new govt agency and some rules and stuff but for sure in 18-24 mos everyone will be pooping inside in Blerz! Amazing! Let's do a press conf thingy.
in reality however everyone in Blerz already pooped inside. all across Blerz and the other fictional states in this fictional world some gov'ts had made it legal to poop inside and some had not but in all of them there are plenty of "traditonal market" plumbers out there who'll gladly install the toilet in your house.. or maybe you're kinda handy and you want to install that toilet yourself in your own home. all the orange and blue big stores sold toilets with the neon green OUTDOOR USE ONLY stickers afixed. some states you needed to show gov't id to get the toilet I shit you not (sorry could not resist that one) plenty of peoples entire household income was based on the illegal inside pooping market
as Lee Corso would say not so fast my friend
the Blerz gov't led by Gil Durphy had something to say about it. now with new law firmly in hand they would created a new gov't agency to regulate pooping indoors.. something that had been done for years by literally everyone.. safely.. now needed to get the R word treatment. REGULATIONS because it was illegal for so long in Blerz to poop inside there was a stigma around all things related to pooping inside and that would surely be leveraged to create a new scarcity for legal toilets
And So the new agency we never really needed was born BLOOPRC! first they needed a legal toilet logo! Not just anyone could install a legal toilet inside because there was so many new safety rules and such that needed to be followed. no more toilets at big box stores. mega poop corp moved in as they did in many other states prior based on the new law they created a first pooper advantage of sorts for their own Legal toilet stores but those would take a while to get open cause the REGULATIONS.
as it turned out to go "legacy to legal" as plumber in Blerz was also not so easy. The licensing process was complicated and competitve. Many Lawyer and consultant hours are required to even open for business. Some cities and towns would not even allow a single "legal" plumber in town. Those towns that would allow them limited the number to only a handful. It led to a "fauxclusive" situation in Blerz
Even though everyone was already pooping inside for many years here in Blerz many citizens bought into the govt narratives they wanted to "poop legal" as the BLOOPRC would even create that as slogan with a full marketing push behind it.
Some people clamored to get a "legal" pooper these toilets came with testing results so you'd know exactly how much water you use per flush and other important info like that on a mauve sticker featuring the BLOOPRC offical toilet logo
Eventually BLOOPRC got the rules together and mega weed corp Legal Toilet stores popped up so you could get an offical BLOOPRC approved toilet installed by a BLOOPRC approved plumber. Initally many stores had big lines people wanted to POOP LEGAL
For some plumbers in the game for many years had the right connects and thrived in this new legal Pooper marketplace they could charge a higher price and only they could install the BLOOPRC Toilets
but many other "traditional market" plumbers felt shut out.. they knew the deal. it was complete bs. a govt cash grab.
So they continued to operate in the shadows not by choice the existing plumbers could service the "legal" poopers they are functionally no different besides a sticker
But Blerz was not having it.. they built this BLOOPRC.. they wrote this law and they intend to collect on it.
and then I woke up. back in Jerz.
